Devious Behavior

Statement of Purpose: Psychologists use a lot of downright awful words to describe the word devious. Deceitful, tricky, dishonest, manipulative, fraudulent, scheming, harmful, underhanded, and conniving, just to name a few. Business consultants like me see it manifested in the form of Aggression and Passive Aggression in the workforce. It can be between a boss and their employee, it can be between peers, it can be between an employee or business owner and a client (and when you get out into the social world, the possibilities are endless). Bottom line, Devious and Deceitful Behavior is one of the major problems in this world today and it is a gigantic killer in productivity and quality communications, regardless of the circumstances (i.e. business, marriages, social encounters, national and international interaction, etc. etc.).

Many famous people have weighed in on the subject so rather than give you quotes from all of them or even a sampling of them, let me summarize in a few points, how this behavior looks under a microscope when examined further and then brought out into the light of day and exposed. (1) Devious Behavior is when a person acts one way in front of their spouse, pastor, employees, friends, boss and so forth (almost always putting on their best front), and then acts another, more unattractive way when that person(s) is not around to see this/their destructive behavior. (2) Devious Behavior is when a person, for one reason or another, changes the way they normally operate or they change their personality to either adjust to the situation at hand and/or manipulate others around them to their desired outcome. (3) Devious Behavior is when a person operates in the highly destructive Aggressive Mode and Passive Aggressive Mode interchangeably and profoundly, while almost totally (or completely) abandoning the Assertive Behavior Mode (i.e. the correct mode that deals with issues and never attacks a person). (4) Devious Behavior is when a person justifies to themselves that the ends justifies the means, regardless of the means they are utilizing, to accomplish what they think is right or needs to be done.

There are more explanations but that is the key four and they are quite damming if in fact someone is definitely operating this way. How do you deal with someone you suspect or definitely know is operating in this destructive behavior behind the scenes and/or right out in the open? You confront it assertively, with specific examples (not general ones) and let them know you will no longer tolerate that kind of behavior, period. If they go into denial and/or give you excuses and/or they will not admit they are operating in a Devious way, and you are convinced you have solid evidence to prove it is happening, you need to go back over the specific behavior verified once more and interact with that person until they admit they have been operating in this destructive mode.

Rarely have I found that people operate this way unintentionally, but it can happen under certain circumstances or great pressure. Virtually all of the time I have encountered Devious Behavior, it is intentional and it must be corrected as soon as it is verified, regardless of the party you are dealing with at the time. If you do not have direct authority and/or influence with that person(s), and they refuse to change their destructive behavior, then for your wellbeing, you must plan to distance yourself from them.